Never Mistake Kindness for Weakness

I have found that I have gotten quite a few responses to my blogs entries in recent weeks, but I find it amazing at the number of women, and a few men, that the gist of their response is "You're a WIMP!!" I find that somewhat astonishing. The men I can write off to jealousy, maybe, but the women I do not understand. Since when does being in touch with your emotions, knowing what you want and being willing to treat people, women in particular, like you would want to be treated equate to being a wimp, woos, nerd or geek? Okay, I may be a geek, but then so is Bill Gates, and the woman that is kicking herself now is the one that laughed and said no when he asked her to the high school prom.

I have educated myself, served my fellow man for my entire adult life, often in positions that required me to wear a bulletproof vest and a gun, not because I was macho, but not because I was a coward either.  Winston Churchill said, "Fear is a reaction.  Courage is a decision."  I admit to being scared, sometimes out of my mind, but I made the decision to get past it.  I have been successful in my business dealings. I have been successful because I was lucky, yes, but also because I was smart, honest and cared for the people that worked for me. The honesty and caring part has cost me more money than I care to recount, but I have remained true to myself. I have tried to live as Shakespeare had Polonius entreating Laertes, "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Honor above all else is the way I have interpreted this. You may not like what I have to say, but you will never have to question that I believe what I am saying.

I am not sure what this has to do with relationships, which is the context in which it is most often broached, but it certainly does not equate to weakness, nor being a wimp. Security and insecurity come from deep within a person. You either like yourself or you don't; and yes, I like myself for who I am, as well as what I have done with my life. Sure, we all feel periods of self-pity, but we do not allow our life to revolve around them. If being able to articulate feelings and honest emotions makes me a wimp; if understanding something about the wants, needs and desires of another makes me a wimp, then I shall proudly bear it as a badge of honor, just as proudly as I have worn military ribbons and medals.

To those that would have me believe I am less than who I believe myself to be I would tell them: Life is not a zero-sum game; for someone to win there does not have to be a loser. Because one has something, does not mean he took it from someone else or you. Earn it for yourself and do not expect it to be given to you by someone else's hard work. Karl Marx wrote, "From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need." This is the very definition of socialism and in a capitalist society such as ours; this thinking will result in frustration and jealousy.

Do not mistake my kindness and sensitivity for weakness, for I am not weak, nor helpless, nor a coward. I am a man that, after many years of reflection, understands what would make me happy and the things I offer to make a very special woman very happy...unconditional love.