Intimacy vs. Passion

A few nights ago I was laying in bed, in a drug induced fog, thanks to my dentist and a prescription for Percocet.  I found myself missing someone in my bed.  I am not referring to a sex partner, but a person with whom to cuddle, to spoon, one arm around her, a hand gently cupping her breast, the softness of skin against mine and the sound of her breathing deeply and sweetly.  I know this is sounding sexual, but it really isn't.  It is intimacy.  I have always believed that the act of sleeping together in such a way is actually more intimate than sex in may ways, or maybe in just a different way.

The act of sleeping together, without the expectation or anticipation of sex, allows a man and a woman to become intimate in a sense that sex does not.  It is a more passive kind of intimacy whereas sex is a more active state in more than just the physical.  Sleeping together is satisfying in an almost spiritual sense.  You comfort one another and the mere act of being together is enough.  There are no expectations of giving or receiving pleasure.  If there are no expectations, there can be no frustrations, no disappointments and no sadness.  You provide all that is needed by your partner by just being there and this is an act of ultimate intimacy.

Don't get me wrong, I think that sex, and more accurately, making love, are the best things around, but, as I said, they are different.  They are active and therefore require action and actions can be judged by performance.  One can perform well or poorly, or not at all, which can be extremely disappointing when performance is expected.  The act of sleeping together does not require action, beyond that of an ability to cuddle, an art that is not difficult.  Trust me, if I can manage it, almost anyone can.  Once you have gotten into that perfect position, you go to sleep, but before you do, you experience the feel of your partner's body against yours, the rise and fall of your partner's chest as they breathe, the sound of their breathing, the smell of their skin and hair, and the sound of their sighs as they drift off to sleep with you.

There is something divine about this passive process.  It is the intimacy that comes with you being you, nothing more, nothing less.  There is no pressure, no expectation or requirement to please in the act of making love.  It is a true sharing without the need to give and take, really.  The ultimate level playing field on which you both lie together as one and truly enjoy one another.